Monday, March 23, 2009

What about now?

So, with the help of my big sis I just added some music to the blog. The song playing is "What about now" by Daughtry. You (all two of my blog readers) may have noticed it was in my playlist that I ran to the other day. While I was running there was one verse in particular, and part of the chorus that really stuck out to me....

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

Some of you know that this year has been full of change for me...yes, most importantly my Mom's death.....hence the reference to a "broken heart". But, recently I've felt the truth in these words...that the sun is beginning to break, and that it's the start of a new day. But, it's only with a touch of His grace that these shadows of pain and sorrow are beginning to fade. It's the reminder that He is by my side loving me each and every step of the way.

And yeah, Mr. Chris Daughtry....you've nailed it..."What about now?"....

Well, not that it is directly related...although it is to me.....but I've been working on a personal goal of mine, pretty intensely....getting fit, losing weight, etc. Hence the running:) And, when I began this journey, I made a private decision to do it in honor of my Mom. One, because later in her life she struggled with her weight and thus self-image. But, also because I felt that it would be something she would want me to be free of...this battle with not liking who I am. And, for those of you who read this blog (again, all two of you) you know that my motto for the year is "Thirty-three....Being me! Being Free!" So, I opted to set a goal to lose a total of 61 lbs....one for each year of my Mom's life. Now that I've begun, though, I'm not sure if it will be possible b/c I'm losing inches due to weight training. I may get close and feel like any further won't be healthy, but we'll see. Right now I'm 26 lbs. down. I opted to share this now b/c if I waited until the end it might have seemed like an afterthought that it was in her honor. So there you have it. And, that brings me full circle to the end of Mr. Daughtry's song...."What if you are making me all that I was meant to be?" I feel empowed in this endeavor, and wonder what He's going to use it for...me for. Whatever it may be, I pray that it might glorify Him and honor my Mom.

5 comments:

Heather said...

Praying for you my sweet friend. We should talk soon!

Cori said...

I totally heart you to pieces!!!!!
So proud of you too- that's a big goal, but I know you will do it!
Congrats on 26lbs- wow!

Anonymous said...

so, you obviously have at least 3 readers. I am oh, so proud of you. What a treasure you are!! Congrats on your 26lbs and I support you in ALL of your endeavors. Love to you and yours. ~al

Melanie said...

First let me say how amazing you are! THe weight loss is a side note to what you are allowing God to do in your life. Releasing you from this stronghold - being tied to your weight as part of "who" you are. i pray that you will continue to feel healthy and strong and capable. that the number would continue to be secondary, although so far wow!!! Love you and am so proud of your commitment to yourself and to honor God by caring for yourself:)
mel

Kerry White said...

Karen you are so wonderful. I love reading your words of total honesty. I will be praying for you as you commit this part of your life to our Great and Heavenly Father who wants only the very best for us. I have been thinking about you lately as the anniversary of my mom's passing gets closer. Couldn't remember the exact date on your mom's passing. Thinking about you much friend!!