I've been doing Beth Moore's study, "Jesus, The One and Only" with my friend Leslie. I've done the study once before, many years ago, but it's been nice to go through it again. It always amazes me how the Lord aligns my lessons to totally speak to my heart.
Just yesterday I was spewing hopelessness to my dear friend (and S.I.L), Erin. Unfortunately many of you have probably heard the same from me if you've talked to me in the past week. I've just been struggling with our family's current situation.
For those of you that aren't aware, 2 years ago we put our house in KY on the market at the prompting of the hubs getting a new job that would take us to TN. Fortunately, it ended up that the hubs could work from anywhere and after only a few months of separation he returned to KY to be with us while we tried to sell the house. Several months later, my Mom passed away and it became clear to us that we should/wanted to move down to FL to be with my Dad and just leave the house on the market. Again, the Lord provided for us through a renter. He needed a place to stay desperately for several months and in return he was able to take care of our home and pay a little towards our mortgage and bills.
This year has been so good for us in FL. We've fallen in love with the climate, the small town life of island living, being with Dad, our schedule and pace, and the new people in our lives.....and ultimately just have seen so much of what the Lord purposed this time to be. It has not been without it's challenges....which I'll just leave unnamed for now.
But all the while we've said that we will need to really pray through what we should do once the end of the year came, once our house in KY sells, etc. Well, the end of the year came and went and the house still hadn't sold. Oh, we've had plenty of traffic and a couple offers, but they were all fruitless. So, we decided that we would just keep the house on the market, continue to live here in FL (why uproot once again?), and pray, pray, pray for direction for the future.
So what is the point that originally propelled me into this recap? Well, when we think about the future decision we often feel that we have absolutely have NO direction. There are pieces that ultimately just won't fit into the same solution puzzle, which means we'll have to leave them behind. In essence, whatever we choose we feel like we will be sacrificing something important to us. And, more than anything we don't care to sacrifice it if we just felt like we knew that what we were choosing was what the Lord wanted. We just haven't heard Him on this.
But, it was good for me to re-read the story of Mary and Martha this morning...for many reasons, but mostly for v.42 where Christ stated that "Mary has chosen". The definition of the word "chosen" in the Greek includes this...."not necessarily implying the rejection of what is not chose, but giving favor to the chosen subject, keeping in view a relationship to be established between the one choosing and the object chosen. It involves preference and selection from among many choices."
See, we have many choices in regards to where to live. Each of those choices have lots of pros, some cons, but ultimately the struggle is that in choosing one means we don't choose another. It encouraged my heart to know that our choice will not necessarily imply rejection of the other. And, my wise S.I.L, Erin reminded me of this next point just last night.....that as we are seeking the Lord on what is next we might not truly come to some perfect solution for all the pieces. Something may have to die (some part of our preferences) as we make a selection. But in the end it will come down to a choice. And while Martha chose something good...opening her home to Christ, making preparations that were necessary, etc......Mary chose something better. She was undistracted, she made a choice, and as a result sat at the feet of her Savior listening...soaking up His widsom and love. Yes, we can make a good choice too and Christ will love us just as much. For He clearly loved both of these women regardless. But I so desperately want to make the better choice, the BEST choice! I pray the hubs will be undistracted as he seeks the Lord on leading our family in this area. I pray that we both will remember that many things are important in making this choice, but that only one thing is necessary....Christ. What He wants for us, where He is calling us, our relationships with Him.
We aren't necessarily up against a decision right now, but it's always there looming in the back of our minds... as we search to find our place in this community (and consider if it's even possible to find our place), as our house gets looked at and offers are made, as we hear from loved ones about their desire for us to be near them, as we think about needing to give Dad back his space (literally and figuratively), etc. And for some reason I've been feeling as though answers won't come.
But, as Beth Moore pointed out a few weeks ago and as my dear friend Leslie continues to remind me...God is at work right now purposing our future...even if it appears as if nothing is happening!
Thank you, Lord....for reminding me today that you are at work, you do care, you do have a plan, and that if we are seeking to make the BEST decision you will honor our hearts!