First, let me say that the last two food days have been better for me. I am tracking what I eat once again, and trying to stay within my limitations. Wouldn't you know that already I'm seeing a difference on the scale? I shouldn't be surprised. It's not rocket science. And you would think that having seen this as a result before would be enough to keep me motivated. So many feel like they don't know how to make the numbers move and that's why they don't keep at it. I do know how to make the numbers move and just don't do what I need to do. Crazy, eh?
Well, like I said in my last post...while you can boil it all down to an equation there is so much more under the surface. I'm certain that it is no coincidence that my last few good food days have also been better days for me in terms of claiming and walking in the Truth. After writing that post I realized that I needed to stop being a pawn for the enemy and overwhelm him with the Truth, by overwhelming myself with the Truth. I listened to worship music (which is typical for me), downloaded some sermons to my iPod, began reading a new book related to my struggles, etc. It's been so effective, which again should really be no surprise. The Lord has graciously met me at every turn and has been reaffirming Truth regarding who I am in Him, who He is, and how my own sin has kept me from experiencing that Truth lately. It's so sad to me that I get in my own way within my relationship with the Lord. But, that seems to be the pattern....I have all that I need in Christ and yet I rely on myself and fail. And then I have the audacity to blame it on Him directly or indirectly by not taking the responsibility myself. Oy! Father, forgive me!
Well, the sermons I listened to were about Joy. I feel like joy has eluded me for quite sometime now, so the sermons were enticing. They were also given by one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Crawford Loritts. The essence of what Dr. Loritts communicated was in two parts. First:
Joy IS happiness. So often we seem to separate those based on the fact that happiness is related to our happenings and joy is something is deeper. Well, he argued that that is not what Scripture says, but rather that joy is a deep, soul-nourishing happiness. He also said that every time the Word teaches of joy it can fit into two broad categories; happiness or confidence. And additionally, that the Bible presents joy within a template that includes a state, a condition, and then a purpose or a promise.
The second thing Dr. Loritts spoke of was:
That joy is experienced when you live a life that is surrendered, a life that knows the source, and a life of submission.
None of this may seem eye opening at first glance, but it was for me this week. It revealed to me that my problem wasn't a joy problem in terms of happiness, but rather confidence. I clearly have not been living a life of daily submission because I've not been confident in the Truth because I've not been well connected to the Source. Seriously, Woelke...get in the game! Honestly, I don't know how I got to this place. I know it wasn't overnight. I know that I've slowly been buying into lies and BOOM, here I am.
Having said that, the book that I'm reading is, "Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free”. I’m sure so many of you have read it before. I’ve been to a conference where Nancy Leigh DeMoss spoke on it, but never read the book through. For obvious reasons I thought now would be a good time.
She begins the book by covering the most basic lies that women believe about God. They are: 1.) God is not really good, 2.) God doesn’t love me, 3.) God is just like my father, 4.) God is not really enough, 5.) God’s ways are too restrictive, and 6.) God should fix my problems. I don’t know about you, but even if I would never say that I actually believe these to be true statements, I’m certain that I’ve lived in such a way that says I do. The ones that really hits home for me currently are #4 and #5. And this ties back into my series on health.
When I turn to food (or anything really) to satisfy something else in me, I’m communicating that He is not enough. Nancy says that it’s like we are saying,“Sure I need God. But I need Him plus close friends; I need Him plus good health; I need Him plus a husband; I need Him plus children; I need Him plus a job that pays enough; I need Him plus a house with a microwave, a washer/dryer, a garage, and a fresh paint job…”. So for me it would be like saying, “Sure I need God. But I need Him plus food”. Ick! HE IS ENOUGH!!!
As for lie #5…I’ll share with you what Nancy wrote because it is so fitting and honestly made me laugh (in a sad way). She writes,“I have often wondered why food is such an issue with so many women. I’m convinced it has something to do with Genesis 3. After all, what was the very first sin? It was the sin of overeating. The single restriction God put on her diet was one too many for Eve….So (like Eve) we throw off the restrictions, determined to “have it our way.” We are free to choose our own way, just as Eve was free to eat the forbidden fruit. But there is one thing we are not free to choose, and that is the consequences.” And while it may seem that by being able to do (or eat) whatever we want, whenever we want, and in whatever quantities we want we are free…we aren’t free at all. We end up being in bondage to food, overweight, and depressed. Freedom comes from obedience. Obedience to the Truth that God IS enough and His ways are for my good.
So, what’s my current next step? To continue to overwhelm myself with His truths, confess and repent of that which has kept me from living in submission to Him, and thus become confident in who He is, who I am in Him, and thus experiencing freedom and joy in ALL areas of my life….food included. I can already feel the wind in my hair:)
Lord, grant that I may pay much closer attention to what I have heard, lest I drift away from it, Hebrews 2:1(ESV) and may hold fast to what has been preached to me, and may not believe in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:2(ESV)