I'm BAAAACCCCKKKK....

Boy have I been absent. Not just from here, but from my life. I came down with bronchitis that was borderline pnemonia and I have been OUT OF COMMISSION for about 2 1/2 weeks now. UGH!

Anyway, I'll hopefully get back in the game now. I'll just share one little "Wee Woelke Words of Wisdom". It came out of the mouth of my very mature and tender-hearted 5 year old daughter....

eWe: "Mom, thanks for all the great things you do for us!"

Me: "Geez, eWe, you're welcome. What an encouraging thing to say. Thank you for that encouragement"

eWe: "Well, you're welcome, but it wasn't encouragement. It was a compliment."

I stand corrected! But seriously...I don't think I had the selflessness to thank my parents until I was in college. Sweet eWe.

Tangents....

I'm not sure how to explain my absence. Not that any of you really probably even noticed or lost sleep over it. Maybe you just assumed it was the holidays. But in reality it's just that I get to this point in my blogging mind where there is so much I want to say, but none of it connects so it would mean blogging like 100 posts in a matter of days and well, you all do NOT deserve that type of torture. I also tend to dream and think while running, and since I'm currently training for a 1/2 I have a lot more time to dream and think.

At any rate, I read my sister's blog the other day where she did a post of tangents....I suppose that's as good a way as any to put all my randomness into one post. Thanks, Mel! So here goes...

Tangent 1: We had a fabulous Christmas. We went down to Ft. Lauderdale to be with the hub's side of the family. The hubs was sick most of the week, which was a bummer, but other than that we so enjoyed the activities, the weather, and most of all the family.

Tangent 2: Running. It's not something I ever thought I'd be able to do or even like. I was telling a friend the other day, though, that for some reason I really think of running as a hallmark of health and fitness. So, it was important for me to try it out as I journey to become the fittest me I can be. I can remember a little over a year ago not even being able to run to the corner of the block...seriously. I hated every step too. But, I was determined to continue trying. The iPod helped...just being able to focus elsewhere took my mind off the mental challenge to some degree. I also knew that the only way to get better at running was to run. So, I'd fit in a little here or there and before I knew it I was running a mile (one loop in the neighborhood). Then one day I decided to try for a second loop. I didn't make it at first, but I kept trying. Then I added another little loop. Now, I know that most people ramp up their running by doing the run/walk method. Totally professional. I'm just too stubborn. I won't give myself credit if I walk and well....I was determined each time to run further than I had the previous time. By the time November rolled around I was running over 3 miles on a typical day. So, when I heard about the 10K I thought it would be a stretch, but a good challenge. I tried running 5 and did it! It hurt, but I knew that if I could do it I would be able to run the race. I joined our running group and did the last long run with them, and then did the race. Yea! The running group was going to continue to train for an upcoming 15K and I thought...what the heck. Unfortunately it falls on a date that I'll be out of town. So, I opted to push a little further and do a 1/2. Who would have thunk it? So, here's what I have to say to all of you who where me a year ago.....1.) Running isn't a hallmark of health. You can do many other things that may even be better for your body in the long run. But, if it's important to you to try...then do it. It is one of the most challenging, and thus rewarding things you can strive for. 2.) If I can run, so can you. I would reccomend ramping up with the run/walk method rather than what I did (I'm so hard headed), but before you know it you'll be setting new goals. 3.) If I can enjoy running, so can you. That's not to say that I have days where it is harder than others to grind it out, but for the most part I really enjoy that time. I always run outside...no matter how rainy or cold. I just like the scenery. I also always run with music. It SERIOUSLY helps! It is actually such a worshipful time for me. The other day I was running down a back street, fortunately, with my arms raised praising the Lord as I went. Ha! Okay, so if you are out there wanting to run....let me know how I can help or encourage you to get started with a plan.

Tangent 3: Clean eating. I've not really update much since I began, I don't think. But, it does work. I know because of the scale. I know because I wake up hungry ready to eat break-fast, which is how it should be. I know because I'm never really left craving anything in the evenings which used to be my time of biggest temptation (that's AMAZING). I know because I'm regular (T.M.I? Sorry.). I know because when I allowed myself to venture out and eat "other" foods I felt sick, bloated, and instantly regretted the decision. I've not been as strict as the book would recommend, but I follow the principles. Here they are once again in case you are interested:
1. Eat 6 smaller meals/day
2. Each meal needs to consist of a lean protein and a complex carbohydrate
3. Portion size is VITAL.
4. Elimate all processed food....i.e. no lunchmeats, no store bought dressings, etc. It can be done!
5. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. 16 ozs in b/f you eat anything in the a.m., and then keeping pumping the water ALL day until dinner in done.

I've fallen off the wagon some with the holidays and then with PMS to follow (Ha!), but I'm tightening the reins once again, so I'll let you know more as I go.

Tangent 4: I've been trying out some new recipes on the fam. Fortunately I have a very supporting husband who doesn't demand meat and potatos at every meal. I also have kiddos who are willing to try new things and like a lot of healthy foods. They mostly have a hard time with meats, and for that there is always ranch to use as dip:)

So, one of the new recipes I thought I might pass on is from Real Simple , the January eddition. It was called coucous-stuffed peppers.

Brown 1/2 lb. ground beef (I used lean ground turkey). Cook 1/2 C. couscous according to the package directions (you can also use bulgar wheat blends for a healthier choice). Mix the meat, couscous, 4 scallions (I omitted on the hubs b/c he doesn't like onions), 1 C. crumbled Feta (I used Light Lauging Cow cheese, garlic and herb, b/c it's all I had...but I think reduced fat Feta would have been better), and 1/2 C. chopped dried apricots (I omitted b/c I didn't have it and couldn't imagine really like that...maybe next time?). Season with salt and pepper. Stuff into 4 hollowed-out bell peppers and bake at 400 , covered, until tender, 45-50 minutes.

I paired it with a mixed green salad that had toasted almonds, fresh cilantro, and then a homemade dressing made of balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, and garlic. YUM! It was a hit with all of the them! The kids especially thought it was SO cool that the pepper was like a bowl. eWe actually helped me cook this one too by doing the mixing and stuffing. Okay, so below it a picture of the results in case you are visual! Enjoy!



I still have a bunch more posts rolling around in my brain, but I've got to get going for now. More later! By the way...if there are health and fitness questions that you'd like to see address, please let me know. I'm sure you aren't the only one and I'd like to try to supply you all with answers, even if I have to ask elsewhere:)

Father and Son

Lil' C is such a tender-hearted little guy. Yes, he's more readily known as a clown...but he's got such a sweet spirit about him. The people in his life are very important to him. He wants to know where everyone is whether its Daddy or Poppy, or Miss Leslie at the Y. He will greet you like he's not seen you in a year, each and every morning. I just love this little guy!

When I tuck him in he always asks me for a kiss, a hug, and then he wants to kiss each hand and hug my arms. Who knows? But it is our little routine and so it's precious to me! He also says the same thing as you leave the room, "Goodnite, see you in the morning, I love you." If you don't say anything back to him, he'll say it all over again:)

Well, he is a bit of a mama's boy....not in that he's not tough and into all boy things, because nothing could be more true. But more so that he prefers me over any other person in this world. Normal, no?

But, my sweet hubs is such an amazing Daddy! He puts so much into his relationship with Lil' C...all in an attempt to build a bond between father and son. I love it!

On that note, one of the things the little guy asks for consistently is for Daddy to come in and "sleep" with him. He's not afraid or too awake to fall asleep....he just knows deep down that its a special thing and so he asks for that time with his daddy.

Often, much time will pass and I'll wonder where the hubs is before realizing he has actually fallen asleep in there! I recently went looking for him on just such a night and this is what I found. I just had to take a picture. They looked like they were mirror images. I love both of them so much...my big-hearted guys all tuckered out!

Happy Birthday, Jesus....a wee bit early....

Today we are celebrating Christmas with our family, including Poppy, before we all head in different directions for holiday visits to other family. So in case I don't get back on here before we return....


MERRY CHRISTMAS.....

...AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.....

Ready to run.....

So on this journey of health and fitness, I decided I needed some goals. First came my teaching certification. Check. Next I decided to run a race longer than I had before, and this past weekend afforded me with that opportunity. It was the Reindeer Run here on the island...a 10K. All I knew was that I wanted to finish and I wanted to do it in one hour and 10 minutes. Well, check.

Here is a picture of our running group from the Y. Les and I actually jumped in on the running group at the last minute, but they were gracious to receive us as their own:) Les is the one down in front of me on the end, and Pattee is the one next to her with Reindeer antlers. Pattee is my instructor for Flexx it and Step, and the one who encouraged me to get certified. She's an AWESOME teacher, a great encourager and motivator, and I'm proud to call her a friend!



Here is a picture that Pattee snapped on her iPhone of me while I was running! Ha!


So, if all continues to go well with my old foot injury, I'd like to prepare to run another race in March that is a 15K. That's the next "goal". I'll keep you posted:)

Coming clean

Okay so back to food.....

I mentioned in previous posts that I've been trying to make changes slowly so that they would stick. The best example is drinking my coffee black rather than loaded down with sugar (artificial or real) and creamer. I know, I know...I probably should give up the java all together, but I'm not quite there (and not sure I'll ever be).

My diet for the past year has been quite consistently the following...

Breakfast: coffee, one egg, and either 2 whole grain low fat waffles OR 1 alternative bagel with 1/3 less fat cream cheese. Sometimes I'd vary and make an egg, cheese, and bagel sandwich...but you get the idea.

Lunch: veggies (peppers, mushrooms) on a Joseph's pita, on a alternative bagel, maybe with cheese OR soup OR salad with some tuna.

Afternoon snack: typically 5 ak-mak crackers with a Diet Coke

Dinner: usually a grilled meat, a salad, and a hot veggie (green beans, eggplant, asparagus, califlower, broccoli). Sometimes I'd sub in another side like couscous, red potatoes baked like fries, baked potato, sweet potato fries, whole grain rice, etc. And I usually have a glass (or two) of wine with dinner or while preparing.

After dinner snack: bag of 94% FF popcorn OR baked tostidos and salsa

From what I've encountered, most people would say I'm a healthy eater, right? But, I feel like I could still make a TON of changes. I need to be eating "cleaner". I need to be eating on a different schedule (i.e. more frequently and having breakfast be my biggest meal). I need to stop snacking after dinner. I need to cut out soda (even though it's diet) and wine. And on, and on, and on.....

So, I've decided to ramp up and make some more changes. I need to because I've really hit a plateau on the scale. I'm sure that I'm still losing inches and changing unseeable things like BMI, but I need and want to see more progress on the scale too.

I had my body composition done the other day and I chatted with the fitness director afterwords. She suggested/reccommeded reading "The Eat-Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno. I went out and bought it and have made it through 3 chapters so far. Most of what she's covering is not new to me, and in theory it's what I've been trying to accomplish in this past year. But, she ramps it up a bit and so it is helping me see some areas in which I can make subtle changes.

So far this is what I'm gathering:

• 6 smaller meals/day (each consisting of lean protein and complex carbs, ever 2-3 hours)
• make breakfast your biggest meal, and never skip it
  
• drink more water and be sure to start the day with 16 oz. before eating
• eat only "clean" foods....nothing that man has had a hand in making other than to plant or slaughter (sorry, maybe too graphic for some of you).

And as a result here are the changes to my diet so far:

Breakfast: 16 oz. H2O first. Then coffee, 2 egg whites (sometimes with veggies if scrambled) and a bowl of oatmeal with fruit in it. This is actually equivalent to what I was having before in terms of points/calories, but it is "cleaner"....less fat, cholestrol, and processing (like what happens with the bagels and waffles when they are made). It's adding more fiber (which satiates better), leaner protein (without the added fat of the egg yolk), and complex carbs from the fruit.

Mid-late a.m.: Water. Joseph's pita with lettuce, slice of turkey, and cucumbers OR apple with 1/2 Tbsp. of almond butter. I still need to investigate turkey's "cleanness" in terms of lunchmeat. I also need to investigate Joseph's pitas vs. Ezekial products, which are what Tosca reccommends. In addition, since I just started I don't have EVERYTHING I want to use in the pantry and am making due...I'd like to get flaxseed and wheatgerm to add to the oatmeal at bfast and almonds for a snack. I'm sure I'll keep figuring out new things to add in as time continues.

"Lunch": Water. Since I'm trying to eat more often, lunch is more aptly named meal 3 because it doesn't happen exactly at the "normal" lunch time. I've been doing salad with tuna, and soups that have veggies and lean meats. I'm going to have to figure out adding the protein in more...maybe doing a protein smoothie (which is something she reccommends...as long as there aren't alot of other additives).

Afternoon: Water. carrots (or other veggie), fruit, and almonds, OR yogurt (which can contain protein). Again, I have to work on this. And I'm going to have to work on giving up diet coke...ugh. I really LOVE that one/day, but I know that I would be SO much better off without the artificial sweetner and since it's proven to make you crave more sweets I really need to ditch it.

Dinner: Water. since we eat dinner so early (due to the kiddos) I feel like I can fit one more small meal in by the end of the day. Dinner will mostly likely stay the same but maybe watch portions a little more and try to cut down or out the wine.

After dinner: stop the water so I don't have to get up ALL night:) I've yet to figure this one out...maybe it will help to keep reading the book, eh?

Okay, so that's just to give you an update, maybe help you see someone else's day, and more importantly put it out there so that some of you can give me some input on other ideas and changes...help!

I'll have to let you know how it goes!

Thanksgiving

Well, we did Thanksgiving a little different this year....not very traditional at all....we went to Disney! Ha! It was a blast though, honestly. We had Poppy, Nana and Pa, and our dear friend's Leslie and Andrew (a.k.a Tiger) along for the chaos too! Once I sort though the pictures I'll post them in the slide show, but for now I thought I'd share eWe's list of things she was thankful for....


In case you can't read it...." My Bubba, telling Hook(her Pa was telling her the story of Hook at bedtime each night), family, Jesus, and friends".

We are so thankful for so many things this year, and look forward to the blessings and trials that will be ours in the year ahead!

Dance, Dance, Dance

eWe is still LOVING dance. She prefers tumble and ballet over tap, and I think she truly excels most at tumble. They had "Watch Week" where the parents, siblings, grandparents, etc could come in and watch them take their class. It was fun to see her interact with her teacher and the other little girls. Here is a shot of three of them....there is another girl too who was absent that night. I know the hubs took some video, but I need to weed through them and pick one to show. Maybe in a few days:)

Lil' C's Bday Party

I didn't want to cheat the little guy out of having cake and a party, I mean look at this face...how can you resist it, right? Even so, he did get to go to Disney on his actual birthday for Pete's sake! But, I'm a sucker for any reason to throw a party, so....I did.

He really wanted cupcakes, just like last year. Somehow I conned him into carrot cake ones. Good thing he can read yet, otherwise the word "carrot" on the box would have definitely gotten a turned up nose. Anyway, I grabbed some Star Wars plates, made some dips, and grilled some burgers and viola....we had a party!

Here he is preparing to dive into his cupcake

Opening his presents...

And then at some point eWe was given artistic control of the party. I think Ms. Leslie had to use the restroom and thought, "Hey, I know, I'll give the camera to the 5 year old so that we don't miss any coverage while I'm gone." ha! Well, it turned out to be a good call for the most part. eWe was so excited about her "job" that she took about 100 pictures, used up all the batteries, got a ton of shots of people from the waist down, and took some very interesting still pictures of our lamps and whatnot....but she also got quite creative. I heard her saying to Lil' C, "So, show me your gift" and when he'd hold it up she'd take a shot. It was like she was running her own birthday photo shoot. Too funny! One of her most creative ideas was having us all stand back to back. Here they are:)

Daddy and Mommy

Ms. Maribel and Mr. Pete (they are long time family friends that live down the street from us. I think we figured out the other night that I've known them since I was 8 year old. They are truly like family to us!!!)

And here is my Dad and dear friend, Ms. Leslie. I think when eWe paired them up we collectively sighed because while it was clear that Ms. Leslie's picture partner (Mr. Andrew, a.k.a Tiger) wasn't there because he was traveling for work....it was also glaringly obvious that Dad didn't have a picture partner. These moments are hard for all of us, but I'm sure especially my Dad. He's so amazing, though. I'm so very proud of the honesty of his grief, his strength to put one foot in front of the other, his faith in the Lord to carry him through, and that he lives a life of hope based on things eternal.

a few more Halloween tidbits....

More of our Halloween day...

Dad and the hubs went golfing in the a.m., so the kids and I decided to don our festive colors and run errands. Here they are on our way out the door.

Later in the day, eWe conned Poppy into playing a mean game of "Guess Who". She gets to sit in this special spot, up on the windowsill, when she plays games with Poppy. As you can tell, though, she was already dressed and ready to go trick-or-treating (like 2 hours ahead of time). But, on a side note, this is one of the many things I L-O-V-E about living with my dad...that they can do fun stuff together at the drop of a hat. They adore their Poppy!

Here is a better shot of the princess perched on her throne. Doesn't everyone play games dressed like this? Ha!

And last but not least...here they are in all their glory as Sleeping Beauty and Luke Skywalker. They lasted about two blocks before the complaining began...."I'm hot", "I'm tired of walking", "My basket is too heavy to carry". I SO do not remember feeling this way as a kid. We loved going out trick-or-treating because it meant candy and staying up late. I told the hubs that next year we were going to wise up and do it the way my parents used to.....the moms stayed home to hand out candy and the dads hauled a wagon with a cooler of ice and beer around as they took the kids trick-or-treating. It's a win-win....the women can chill at home, the kids can occasionally rest in the wagon, and the men can have a brewsky to make the whining less painful! Ha! Well thoughtout, I'd say! Ha!

My little girl's heart for God

eWe has such an amazing little brain, and can memorize and remember things so well. This has truly served her well at AWANA, a kids program that she and Lil' C go to at a local baptist church on Wednesday nights. They LOVE it!

Poppy generously takes them each and every week, which they also love. This gives the hubs and I a date night, which we truly cherish.

Anyway, here is eWe reciting her first verse from this year, John 3:16. This one was a big accomplishment for her since it was her first "longer" one, and for some reason it has stuck with her more than the others.


It is such a precious, precious thing for me to see them learning God's word and truly storing it up in their hearts. I know that it means something to her and isn't just head knowledge because I see her burdened already, at age 5, to share the good news with others.

In fact, many of you already know the story of how she shared Christ with her good friend on the way home from school one day last year. The little girl said that she didn't know God, and eWe proceeded to share with her how she could. It was so dear, and a pretty spot on gospel presentation. This summer they talked about it again and the little girl said that she went home and asked her mommy to help her pray to ask Jesus into her heart. I pray for this little girl regularly, and her family....

Along those same lines, eWe has taken to copying books. It's quite interesting. She actually will rewrite a whole book, and says she is doing it to give to a friend. Well, yesterday she decided to start copying a book about Jesus and the disciples so that she could give it to the same little girl she shared her faith with. She said, "I thought this book would be good to copy for her since she doesn't know Jesus all that well." I replied with a tear in my eye, "Yes, yes...I think that would be lovely."

And on a final note....yesterday she was working on her homework. She was to fill in the blank on a turkey feather made of construction paper that will go on her classroom turkey at school. It read, "I am thankful for____". Well, she came out of her room and handed it to me after writing on the blank and decorating the feather. Her's read, "I am thankful for God and Jesus."

And for that I am thankful!

Boo!

Happy Halloween, everyone!


We started our festivities with eWe's Fall Parade at school yesterday. Here's a picture of her class. She's in the middle toward the end dressed as Minnie Mouse.




Here is her class parading by. As you watch the video, you'll hear me trying to get her attention. She actually looks like she sees me, but not so much. When she finally does see me, well, just watch and see and be sure and listen for my *sigh* at the end! Ha!


Daddy took over and continued the Halloween fun by taking the kids to a Fall festival called BethleHEM Marketplace (apparently I say "ham" and that is SOOOO wrong in the eyes of my hubs). Ha!

This morning I awoke to the great carving of the pumpkins. The kids each got to pick the design of their choice, and Daddy got to do all the work! Both of them thought it was too gross....what? Are you my children? I LOVE getting slimy and dirty...


eWe picked the ever traditional look.










Lil' C on the other hand opted for a more modern twist of the traditional look...and if you look at his face, I think he's trying to match his new friend!

Stay-cation Day 4 & 5

Well, we wrapped up our stay-cation with a Tuesday full of bowling, lunch at Chick-fil-a, a hike, and playing at the park. Then on Wednesday we took eWe out of school in order to go and celebrate Lil' C's 4th birthday at Disney.













We were out the door by 6 a.m. and in the park (after driving, parking, riding the bus in, etc) by 10 a.m. ish. The birthday boy got to pick the park, and he chose Magic Kingdom. When I asked him why he said, "Because it has It's a Small World and that's my sister's favorite ride." How precious! And that he is. He is such a pure hearted little guy.

We had a great day! We left the park at 5 p.m., stopped for a quick dinner in Orlando, and then headed home with them both asleep in the car. Whew! What a fun whirlwind of a day.

Today we are decompressing.

I will stay, though, our first stay-cation was a hit. We did tons of different stuff, got a good mix of rest and play, and ended up only spending about $17/person/day for the whole 5 days. Not bad!

But, before I end today I just want to say a little Happy Birthday to my little man. He's one of the funniest kiddos I know....such a clown. He's giving, he's high energy, he sweet, and he's all boy. He is a joy to parent, and seemingly will charm all he meets. Yes, his implusive thoughlessness of his actions can sometimes drive me insane.....but, it seems a small price to pay for the priveledge of having him in my life. I need the joy and simplicity that he offers...it's good for me! Happy Birthday, buddy!

Family Pics

As I mentioned a few days ago, we had our family pictures done by our dear friend, Leslie. She has just ventured out on her own in business, and is so talented. I can't wait to see how both she and her business grow!

With the start of her own business, she also started a blog. Today, she featured some of our family's shots. If you care to check them out, you can at the Leslie See Photography blog.

Can't wait to see the rest! Great work, Les!

Stay-cation Day Three

Whew, I'm exhausted! We lounged around this morning, but then headed out right around lunch.



First we hit Five Guys for some of the best burgers and of course the fun peanuts!





Then we headed to the Zoo! We've not been to our local zoo yet, so it was a fun outing. Here are some of the highlights...

Strolling through.



Posing with the pumpkins.












Up close with stingrays in the stingray encounter exhibit.


Hanging with the elephants.











Sissy and Bubby in the bamboo garden.



Riding on the gorilla.









This was a funny one. Daddy didn't tell Lil' C that the snake wasn't real. He just said, "Hey, look! Do you want to pet it?", as he lifted him up. Lil' C started FREAKING out because he thought it was real. Okay, so maybe torturing your children shouldn't be fun...but what can I say?









Lounging with the Komodo dragon.










And last but not least....playing at the play park! A great day! Wonder what tomorrow will hold????

Stay-cation

eWe has off for two days which means a long weekend. We had tried and tried to come up with a fun getaway for us, but nothing struck us just right. So, we decided to put a fun thing on the calendar for each day and turn it into a a mini stay-cation! So far, it's been fun. A good mix of relaxation and fun adventures.

Saturday we headed out on Poppy's boat with Poppy and our dear friends, Leslie and Andrew (affectionately known to my kiddos as "Tiger"). We rode up to a nearby town, docked, ate lunch and strolled around.

Somehow we also squeezed in a family photo shoot later that day, in preparation for Christmas cards, etc. Leslie is a photographer, and a great one at that. She took us down to the beach for the shoot. We haven't seen the pictures yet, but I'm so excited! Check out her other work at Leslie See Photography when you get a chance! You won't regret the detour. So, that was Saturday, day one of our stay-cation.

Sunday we went to church, grabbed lunch at home, and then headed out to the Northeast Florida Fair. In order to get in the spirit of the day, I had the kids get into their overalls. They thought it was SO fun to match one another. They kept saying, "Happy Farmer Day". I have no idea where they got that from, but it cracked me up.












Since it was the last day of the fair, we missed a lot of the livestock shows, etc. But, we enjoyed some cotton candy and soda (the treat the kids chose), games, and a few rides.

It was a nice afternoon. We came home, had dinner, and crashed. So ended day two of our stay-cation.

Health: Tasty tips

I don't know how many posts are in my head about this topic, but I'm certain it's a zillion since it's such a part of my life right now.

I was frustrated this week because I felt like I was really making an effort to add food tracking back in to my world and some how it failed me a a bit. Well, I guess technically it didn't fail me, but I failed myself. I got my spreadsheet opened each day. I entered most everything from morning until dinner, and sometimes through dinner, and sometimes until bed. I entered all my calories burned from workouts (thanks to my Polar heartrate monitor). I even reverted back to some of my tried and true recipes that help keep me feeling satisfied and within points range for the day. But, I still failed.

Failures come in many shapes and forms. But no matter how they come, they are tough for me. I set a pretty high standard for myself and don't give myself a lot of latitude for screw ups. Plus, as I mentioned before, I'm such an all or nothing person. If I mess up during the day, I have a tendency to believe that it was all for nothing. I'm learning though...slowly. I even told myself as I looked back over my spreadsheet...."at least your opening it"..."at least you tracked most of your day"...."at least you are trying to make wise choices"...etc. Everything is a process and so any movement in the right direction is a good thing, right?

Anyway, specific struggles? Well, there is ALWAYS something that is going to be there to "mess up" your day. It might be lunch with a friend. Donuts brought to the office by a co-worker. Someone's birthday which means a party, dinner out, and cake (gasp). It's tough. How do you navigate through all of that and still make wise choices...especially when you really don't want the side salad...you want FRIES! Ha!

As I thought through tips to share I began to realize that it basically boils down to two larger categories: plan ahead and stay satisfied. Within these broader categories, though, I can think of a ton of little examples and tips. I'll try to share some as a reminder to myself, and in hopes that maybe you can get something from it as well.

Plan ahead.

Examples and Tips?

• Know what you are going to do that day and think through your food accordingly. Anticipate what might "mess you up" and have a plan of action.
  

• Pastries used to show up at my all female office that I worked in before having kiddos. I knew they would be there, especially on certain days. So, on those days I began bringing part of my breakfast to eat while at work so that I could occupy my mouth and hands with something better while others indulged in the goodies.

• When we used to live near family, we'd do a Sunday night dinner all together. I never was in charge of the menu (thank you mamacita) and therefore could never predict what options I might have. As such, I used to eat a big can of green beans, a salad, or something like that before heading over. This allowed me to eat less of what was offered, if it wasn't healthy. I also traveled with my own diet coke and bag of microwave popcorn so that I would have a healthy snack while we played games and munched on goodies that weren't great options for me.

• Whenever we go out to eat I always try to peruse the restaraunt's menu online before hand. A lot of times they offer the nutritional information. There is also a great website that has calulated the W.W. points at hundreds of restaraunts already. Check it out at www.dwlz.com. Anyway, doing this ahead of time enables me to be ready to make the right choice.

Stay satisfied.

Examples and tips?

• Know what food items are anytime foods (better known as zero point foods if you do W.W.) and snack on those in between your other planned items if you need to. If you are satisfied you won't be tempted quite as much and might also be able to resist.

• Drink a glass of water before each meal.

• Don't cheat yourself of something you really desire, but be sure and control the portion of it and count it on your spreadsheet. If you feel cheated you will cheat.
  

I guess that's all I can muster up for now. There are two more things that are swimming in my head....

First, I know that if I indulge in something because if feels right or good or is what I wanted at that moment it is fleeting. I will inevitably regret it later when I have to log it in the spreadsheet, don't see the numbers moving on the scale, or when my clothes aren't getting any looser. On the flip side...I know that if I walk away from the tempting item and don't indulge I will feel more powerful, proud, and inspired to keep making such choices. And, the clothes and scale will reflect the wisdom of my choice. So, again...why it that so hard?

Second, I realized this week that I often reward my kiddos with "treats". Nothing wrong with that, especially since they are wonderful eaters...such healthy palates. But, I don't want to create that in them. What brought this to my attention was that Poppy went with eWe to lunch at school one day. She invited a friend to eat with them, and that friend had a little candy bar as part of her packed lunch. Poppy said that eWe harassed the poor girl into giving her 1/2 of it. Poppy then mentioned to me that perhaps her actions stemmed from it being "the forbidden fruit". I don't know. We allow our kids to have a piece of candy after lunch each day, and ice cream from Poppy's store each night after dinner. They aren't restricted really. But, then Poppy said, "well, maybe it stems back to it being a big deal...like when they were rewarded during potty training with M-n-Ms". Hmmm. Could it be? I don't know. I won't lose sleep over this, that's for sure. But, it was just another reminder that our culture is centered on food (as I mentioned in a previous post) and that we often reward with food. I just want to be careful not to create a relationship with food in my children, like I've had. I want them to see food as food and not have to fuss with the rest.

Okay, so now that I've spent all this time writing about food, I'm hungry (truly). I've got to go grab a snack:)

We just got a Flip and I wanted to try it out. Here's one that makes me giggle. It's Lil' C doing his signature dance move, The Hula Hoop! Enjoy!

Health: If the Truth be told

First, let me say that the last two food days have been better for me. I am tracking what I eat once again, and trying to stay within my limitations. Wouldn't you know that already I'm seeing a difference on the scale? I shouldn't be surprised. It's not rocket science. And you would think that having seen this as a result before would be enough to keep me motivated. So many feel like they don't know how to make the numbers move and that's why they don't keep at it. I do know how to make the numbers move and just don't do what I need to do. Crazy, eh?

Well, like I said in my last post...while you can boil it all down to an equation there is so much more under the surface. I'm certain that it is no coincidence that my last few good food days have also been better days for me in terms of claiming and walking in the Truth. After writing that post I realized that I needed to stop being a pawn for the enemy and overwhelm him with the Truth, by overwhelming myself with the Truth. I listened to worship music (which is typical for me), downloaded some sermons to my iPod, began reading a new book related to my struggles, etc. It's been so effective, which again should really be no surprise. The Lord has graciously met me at every turn and has been reaffirming Truth regarding who I am in Him, who He is, and how my own sin has kept me from experiencing that Truth lately. It's so sad to me that I get in my own way within my relationship with the Lord. But, that seems to be the pattern....I have all that I need in Christ and yet I rely on myself and fail. And then I have the audacity to blame it on Him directly or indirectly by not taking the responsibility myself. Oy! Father, forgive me!

Well, the sermons I listened to were about Joy. I feel like joy has eluded me for quite sometime now, so the sermons were enticing. They were also given by one of my favorite teachers, Dr. Crawford Loritts. The essence of what Dr. Loritts communicated was in two parts. First:

Joy IS happiness. So often we seem to separate those based on the fact that happiness is related to our happenings and joy is something is deeper. Well, he argued that that is not what Scripture says, but rather that joy is a deep, soul-nourishing happiness. He also said that every time the Word teaches of joy it can fit into two broad categories; happiness or confidence. And additionally, that the Bible presents joy within a template that includes a state, a condition, and then a purpose or a promise.

The second thing Dr. Loritts spoke of was:

That joy is experienced when you live a life that is surrendered, a life that knows the source, and a life of submission.

None of this may seem eye opening at first glance, but it was for me this week. It revealed to me that my problem wasn't a joy problem in terms of happiness, but rather confidence. I clearly have not been living a life of daily submission because I've not been confident in the Truth because I've not been well connected to the Source. Seriously, Woelke...get in the game! Honestly, I don't know how I got to this place. I know it wasn't overnight. I know that I've slowly been buying into lies and BOOM, here I am.

Having said that, the book that I'm reading is, "Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free”. I’m sure so many of you have read it before. I’ve been to a conference where Nancy Leigh DeMoss spoke on it, but never read the book through. For obvious reasons I thought now would be a good time.

She begins the book by covering the most basic lies that women believe about God. They are: 1.) God is not really good, 2.) God doesn’t love me, 3.) God is just like my father, 4.) God is not really enough, 5.) God’s ways are too restrictive, and 6.) God should fix my problems. I don’t know about you, but even if I would never say that I actually believe these to be true statements, I’m certain that I’ve lived in such a way that says I do. The ones that really hits home for me currently are #4 and #5. And this ties back into my series on health.

When I turn to food (or anything really) to satisfy something else in me, I’m communicating that He is not enough. Nancy says that it’s like we are saying,“Sure I need God. But I need Him plus close friends; I need Him plus good health; I need Him plus a husband; I need Him plus children; I need Him plus a job that pays enough; I need Him plus a house with a microwave, a washer/dryer, a garage, and a fresh paint job…”. So for me it would be like saying, “Sure I need God. But I need Him plus food”. Ick! HE IS ENOUGH!!!

As for lie #5…I’ll share with you what Nancy wrote because it is so fitting and honestly made me laugh (in a sad way). She writes,“I have often wondered why food is such an issue with so many women. I’m convinced it has something to do with Genesis 3. After all, what was the very first sin? It was the sin of overeating. The single restriction God put on her diet was one too many for Eve….So (like Eve) we throw off the restrictions, determined to “have it our way.” We are free to choose our own way, just as Eve was free to eat the forbidden fruit. But there is one thing we are not free to choose, and that is the consequences.” And while it may seem that by being able to do (or eat) whatever we want, whenever we want, and in whatever quantities we want we are free…we aren’t free at all. We end up being in bondage to food, overweight, and depressed. Freedom comes from obedience. Obedience to the Truth that God IS enough and His ways are for my good.

So, what’s my current next step? To continue to overwhelm myself with His truths, confess and repent of that which has kept me from living in submission to Him, and thus become confident in who He is, who I am in Him, and thus experiencing freedom and joy in ALL areas of my life….food included. I can already feel the wind in my hair:)

Lord, grant that I may pay much closer attention to what I have heard, lest I drift away from it, Hebrews 2:1(ESV) and may hold fast to what has been preached to me, and may not believe in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:2(ESV)

Health: Mapping the way

So, food continues to be my "frienemy". I've been desiring, as I think I mentioned previously, to get back on target with tracking my food. But, I've done a poor job. I know why, though. Not that this is meant as an excuse. Merely an explanation as part of my learning process.

I'm blue. I've been struggling for about 3 weeks now pretty intensely. This year or so has been characterized by more dramatic "downs" than I've ever experienced before, but this has definitely been the worst of it. I think it's a culmination of a lot of things that each deserve a little attention, so here goes..

1. Sadness. Year one without Mom represented a time of just trying to get my head around the fact that she was gone and loving those around me in their time of grief. But now? Well, now I get that she is gone, but I miss her.

2. Weariness. I've traveled quite a bit due to family emergencies, packing up the house, and some for fun family trips or visits from others. But, all totaled makes me tired. Maybe more accurately and positively put...they've been a good distraction and now I just see this vastness that lies ahead of me until the holidays.

3. Hopelessness. Yes, it may seem dramatic but that's how I've felt regarding whether we'll EVER be able to make a decision about where we are supposed to be geographically speaking. I've also felt that way about finding a church home, and thus friends (thank goodness for the See's). Nothing has seemed to "fit" us.

4. Defeatedness. The enemy has come on strong this year. I was reading on a blog that I follow and she shared a quote that her friend sent her about Satan. She said,
"Satan is no gentleman for sure, he doesn't back off when we are hurting or when the unimaginable has happened to us-he came at me with everything he had, with lie after lie...he tried to get me to believe that my life was over, that we wouldn't have happieness again...Thankfully, our great God pursued me even harder."
How true, How true. That pretty much sums it up for me. My vulnerabilities have been exposed this year in a whole new way. I've been walking through the loss of my Mom, a woman with whom a lot of my identitity stems from genetically, via nurturing, etc. As such, I've questioned many times what she thought about me....was she proud of me....it what ways am I like her....and on and on. So, in many ways I allowed myself to be open to the answers. And wouldn't you know that the enemy has jumped all over that opportunity. He has whispered in my ear that not only was my Mom not proud of me, didn't like me, etc....but that those are things that all the people in my life and even the Lord think of me too. That I have no value. That I am not loveable. You name it. And you know what it so sad about that? I BELIEVED him! ugh! It makes me so sick to think that I was scammed by him. I feel ashamed. I take comfort, though, that I've finally begun to see his attack for what it is...a lame attempt to make me ineffective in my life, the lives of those around me, and for the Lord. And just like that quote said earlier, my realization has only come because, "our great God pursued me even harder." Whew! Thank you, Jesus!

Now, having said that, I'm not quite out of this pit.....but I am on my way up.

Okay, so if you began reading this post because you were interested in what I had to say about food....sorry. My simple point is that food still has an unhealthy place in my life. But I've realized something new even just during these past few weeks. It's not just that food substitutes other things for me, but when I am overwhelmed with other things in my life I don't have the energy to deal with food appropriately. Thus, the old habits come right back into play. I eat without any thought for what I'm putting in my mouth or how much. During stressful times I apparently act on the basis that I am entitled to not have to think about food because there is too much else going on. That would be fine if all my old habits had been slayed and buried and new ones had been erected firmly in their places. But, I'm not there yet. I've not earned the right to be lacksidasical about food, and thus have no business ignoring it when the going gets tough in other areas.

Now that I have my own brow beating out of the way, let me just share one other little nugget that I've learned along the way so that I can end on a more encouraging note. When you make a mistake with you diet, or get off track with your exercise plan....the best time to get back to the plan is immediately upon realization. Don't wait until you get back from that trip, or finish that project, or attend that party, or even until you wake up the next day. Start with the next bite (or lack of one if necessary). We will all make mistakes. But, it is not an all or nothing thing (which is SOOOO my character). One mistake does NOT make it all for naught. Nor do several mistakes. What is important is that you recognize that you are off course and upon recognition, redirect. And that is where I am today. It's where I was yesterday and the day before too. My dietary navigational system is pretty stubborn right now. I've continued going the way I know that I should go, but my old GPS is screaming, "As soon as possible, make a U-turn." Well, not today, little missy, not today!